Marriage - Part 1

One of the things I would like to do while I have the time and space is record some of the things Geoff and I have done to build a strong marriage. A successful part of my dad's professional career was interviewing top real estate agents around the country, uncovering their secrets to success, and then selling the information. It was wildly popular and helped thousands of people improve their businesses. Wouldn't it be nice if people with really successful marriages shared a few of their secrets to success? So I'll write some posts over the next month, since we're wrapping up our twentieth year of marriage!

Sometimes I marvel that Geoff and I have such a solid relationship. Here's why:

Geoff is endlessly optimistic. I am a "realist" (he calls this a pessimist).

Part of that optimism is how much he thinks he can do in a certain amount of time, and therefore he is (most often) late. I am overwhelmingly punctual. I can predict how much time things will take down to a minute.

I like structure and a plan. Geoff is flexible and spontaneous.

I am really good at details, and they are important to me. Geoff is a big picture visionary; anything is possible.

I am very practical. Simple is best. Geoff is always looking for how to make things the best they can be, which often requires more work, time, thought, and trial and error.

When on a hike or walking through a museum, or just about everything else in between, I like to keep moving at a pretty brisk pace. Geoff likes to stop and absorb what he is seeing and/or doing.

Geoff is freezing all day, wearing layers of clothing except for the summer months, then he is boiling at night. I am warm in the day and cool at night.

I'm a clean-as-you-go person. Geoff is a make-a-huge-mess-and-clean-up-after person.

I need a good amount of alone time. Geoff loves to be with people all the time.

(Just to name a few...)

You might think of the old saying that opposites attract, and that may be true, but these levels of opposite preferences and personality traits could break a marriage. They aren't easy on many different levels! But there is an overarching idea that makes it work. It is probably the number one thing that has seen us through a lot of ups and downs over the years:

Imagine God at the top of a triangle, and Geoff and I are at each of the other points. As we both work to grow closer to God, we naturally grow closer together.

Geoff and I are both deeply devoted to God. We are both trying to draw closer to Him and be like Him. Our efforts are imperfect and we have a lot of imperfect moments, but overall it is fundamental to our success. It probably sounds too simple, or maybe unrealistic to some people, if the devotion to God is uneven or one-sided, but if one's self is focused on improving themselves, on personally drawing closer to God, that will make a positive difference in the overall marriage. Of that I am certain.